See it grow

Among the oranges, the lemons, the grapefruits, the pecans and the macadamia nuts in our yard, there is also the passion fruit. This delicacy is different than the others. It grows on vines piled atop the awning outside our front door. When the fruit is ripe and heavy, it dangles at eye level, enticing us to reach up and pluck it from its stem. It is an unknown fruit to me, and the texture looks questionable, to be honest. It may be bitter inside. Or it could be sweet.

I think about the passion fruit a lot, as I pass by it every morning. It reminds me that I need to make a better effort to find my passion here. I need to try new things, or old things in new places.

I am by nature a passionate person. I latch on to people, activities, goals, causes, and I throw my whole self into them. Just ask Pat – he’ll tell you how worked up I can get about something as simple as chia seeds and how they are going to change the world.

I had a lot of passions before we moved. I was very passionate about my work and felt that what I was doing had an impact on people’s lives. I was passionate about finding a cure for Alzheimer’s disease and I was a dedicated volunteer and fundraiser. I was passionate about fitness and running and seeing how far I could push myself. I was passionate about cooking and clean eating. I was passionate about friends and family, and made sure I had FUN with them all the time.

I'm still passionate about all of these things! But in a new town, it’s much harder to actualize that passion. Things are unfamiliar. I don’t know anybody. There are different barriers to break down. Excuses, excuses! At the start of this new, exciting year, here are my goals for finding my passion again:

• Make friends. You know, just make some friends! Hardest thing ever. For Christmas, I gave Pat and myself a stocking stuffer: a membership to the "20s and 30s Social Club of Orange County." It sounds totally cheesy, but actually it’s just a group on meetup.com, which is a great website for getting out there. They organize really fun activities, like trampoline dodgeball, beach bonfires, karaoke nights and brewery tours. The group has a lot of members who are new to the area, so hopefully we’ll find some fun kids to hang with. We also joined the Missouri State University alumni association, and already they have planned a mixer for alumni in the Los Angeles area in January. That should be fun. Also good for Pat’s business networking.
• Volunteer. I had wanted to wait to reach out to the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association until after the “walk season,” when they are busy with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s. The walk season was in the fall, so now I have no excuse. Time to get involved.
• Join a gym. This one may have to wait a little while, because those darn initiation fees are expensive. But I love being a part of a good gym, and group fitness classes are one of the best ways to make friends, in my experience. Yoga and weight-lifting and kick-boxing and tai chi and Zumba, here I come.
• Commit to running. It’s not as easy as stepping outside my front door like it used to be. Our neighborhood is too poorly lit and while it’s not unsafe, I just don’t feel at ease when I run here. So, I will have to make an effort to get to a trail or a treadmill, but that’s okay. It’s worth it.

The neat thing about having food growing outside your front door is that you are always aware of its progress. The tiny buds, the new leaves, the green rind slowly edging to purple – every stage happens before your eyes. I am making progress too. And soon, I’ll be brave enough to taste the passion fruit. Maybe I’ll even bake a pie.

Title lyrics – Lisztomania, Phoenix

May your days be ...

Title lyrics – White Christmas, The Drifters

Say, lend me a coat

Our former home in Missouri is digging out of at least a half foot of snow this week, and back in my Michigan hometown, it's down in the teens today.

Here in southern California, it's been in the 50s for the last week, with some mornings nearing the freezing point. Seriously not bad in comparison to the rest of the country. And yet this "arctic blast" is the talk of the town. People around me mention the cold weather at least five times a day. This is very unusual, I'm reminded often. It's never this cold here, they say.

This hilarious Jimmy Kimmel clip sums the hubbub up so much better than I ever could. Wind blowing the leaves, people ordering hot drinks – these are real news stories, folks. Nelson Mandela passed away? Yeah, but it's COLD.

Sadly we will not get to enjoy a cold, snowy Christmas at either of our hometowns this year. Flights are too expensive and I don't have a lot of vacation time saved up yet. But, my parents are talking about visiting in January and there is nothing in this world I look forward to more than a visit with my family!

I've told Pat that moving away from family is hard, but it makes your time with them so much more meaningful. I moved away 11 years ago and I cherish my family time exponentially more every year. My mom and I count down the days, and then the hours, till we see each other. Our goodbye hugs at the end of each visit get longer and longer – I think they're approaching 10 minutes now. A stronger appreciation for family comes not just with age, but distance too, and that is the silver lining in these winter clouds.

Title lyrics – Baby, It's Cold Outside
(Yes, I did just link to the Jessica Simpson/Nick Lachey version of this classic song and no, I will not apologize!)

Keep your head up

Sun rays, ocean waves, 75 degrees in November. Hikes in the mountains, bikes on the beach. It's time to finally cover some of the hard stuff.

Moving to a new place has been exciting, of course. We love it here. But our move was about more than just a change of scenery. It was about taking a leap for Pat's career and altering The Life Plan.

Pat has always wanted to write music. It was a passion that he turned away from more than once, but it always came back knocking. So a few years ago, we dipped our toes in the waters of business. We opened another bank account, invested in equipment and bought a house with space for a studio. It wasn't long before Pat knew he wanted to make a full-time career out of it. And the California dream was born.

This meant taking on some pretty big challenges, and putting other things on hold. The life in the suburbs and the good schools and the "kids before 30" pact we made when we got married sort of went out the window. Don't get me wrong, I was and continue to be completely supportive of this change in life course! In fact, I probably pushed for it more than Pat did, because he would never ask me to make that kind of sacrifice. (And I love him for that.) It would be a crime to waste such a passion and talent and I can't let that happen.

Already, this area is proving to offer more opportunity for him. Even saying you’re located in Los Angeles seems to earn you credibility in the industry. Pat is working nonstop on different projects. It will be a long time before the business supports us financially, but at least there is work to be done. And he’s having a blast.

[Side note: I always wanted to have a business anyway. In 7th grade, our English teacher asked us to take the letters of our names and choose words beginning with those letters to describe you. Well, jeez. Do you know how many E’s are in DEE DEE? Like a hundred or something. I ran out of E words pretty quickly, so I asked the best wordsmith I know, my Dad. He suggested “entrepreneur.” He explained the meaning and I immediately related to it. The babysitting club. The “any service you need done, call your neighborhood 12-year-old” business. The Crestview Carnival for kids on our street. The door-to-door sales of my homemade Rice Krispie treats and chocolate bars. And the meticulous management of every dollar I earned. Yup, I was an entrepreneur. I actually enjoy helping Pat with the business-y things he dislikes – keeping the money straight, the paperwork, managing risk. Fun, fun, fun.]

I’m not going to pretend that I don't long for that other life at the same time. Every kid I see melts my heart and turns me into a puddle. (And I work at a children’s hospital, so this happens a lot.) I want one, or two, or three. I want the house in the suburbs. I want the things that other people my age are starting to enjoy. These things cost money, but launching a business does too, and we just can’t do both at the same time. We made this move knowing full well that it would be a while until we were on our feet and ready to start the next chapter. It is SO hard to wait, and I'm struggling with that right now.

I need to remember that the current chapter of our lives is just as good in its own right. I need to be patient, savor the moment and be grateful for what I already have. Life is pretty darn good and I'm in no rush to get through it.

Title lyrics – Stubborn Love, Lumineers

Jelly Man Kelly

Meet Kelly.

Kelly is Pat’s brother, younger only by 17 months.

Kelly is good at everything: art, computer programming, web design, writing, teaching English, ukelele, singing, accordion, bike polo, fire-breathing, beard-growing.

Kelly is hilarious. He can really make me laugh. 

Me: I was so sad to miss the Bob Dylan concert because I had to have my appendix out.

Kelly: I guess your appendix wasn’t a Dylan fan.

Kelly is a world-traveler. He just spent more than a year living in China. Next year, he plans to move to Taiwan. And then I hear he’s tackling Europe. Hopefully Clark Griswold style.

We had the honor of hosting Kelly on his first visit back to the United States, and he had the honor of being our first house guest. He stayed with us for 10 days and I think we’re both going through some serious Kelly withdrawals.

I’d say we made good use of his time with us. We tried to give him a sampler of southern California, even though we’re still discovering the flavor of it ourselves.

Some of the many adventures:

• We walked the pier and drank milkshakes at Huntington Beach.

• Pat and Kelly took a train to Silver Lake, a small artsy area north of L.A.

• We hiked Griffith Park at sunset, with a view of the big city.

• We got a taste of Venice Beach, both by day and night. ... Interesting place. A crowded boardwalk with a lot of people touching you. Like the guy who wanted to give me his CD demo and he grabbed my hand and kissed it while chewing a toothpick and the toothpick stabbed me and I AM TOTALLY GETTING HEPATITIS. But really, a neat place.

• Pat and Kelly hiked at Crystal Cove.

• We biked 26 miles along the coast from Hermosa to Venice and back. This was by far one of the coolest things we've done in California. Although I still don't know how I was able to walk the next day.

[Now would be a good time to mention that most of the photos you see on this blog are taken by Pat, not me. I only wish I could take credit. He is phenomenal behind the camera and most of the time he doesn't even try.]

• We re-introduced Kelly to the joys of American breakfasts, Mexican food, smoothies and craft beer.

• We took in a concert at Santa Ana’s Constellation Room – Keller Williams and opening act The Melodic both rocked our socks off.

• We found The Pie Society, a secret speakeasy-style joint hidden behind a pizza restaurant in Costa Mesa.

Between the hikes, the bikes and the walks, we hit a lot of beaches. This is proof that visiting us will be the best vacation you'll ever take. "Visit the Jacobs and you'll see ALL the beaches." What travel agent can claim that?

Sad to see Kelly go, and his visit reminded us how good family time can feel. Homesickness is setting in a little and unfortunately not even sun and sand can cure it. Airfare around the holidays is looking to be WAY out of our budget, so we're trying to plan a trip home in the spring. In the meantime, we would love to hear from you all. If you're sending holiday cards, will you add us lonely souls to your list? Email/text/comment/Facebook me if you would like our address, and thanks for keeping us in your lives!

Title lyrics – Jelly Man Kelly, James Taylor

The skies I'm under

I know I will get a lot of rub-it-in-will-ya responses to this post, but I can't have a blog about California without talking about the weather. I apologize in advance to those of you currently wearing three pairs of socks or scraping ice off your car windows. I have been there before.

The sun, oh the sun. It's fall so our bodies are prepared for cooler temperatures. Every day, I expect it to be cold, and the sun catches me by surprise. It's the perfect kind of heat, too. A cozy, sleepy warmth like a caress on your skin. It's not uncomfortable or sticky or searing. I know that will change in the summer and I'll be begging for air conditioning. For now, I have an urge to lie down in every sunny patch of grass I see and take a nap.

Most restaurants here have some kind of outdoor seating because of the weather. A Mexican restaurant we tried the other night didn't even have a front wall. Even though it was a little chilly out, the combination of indoor heating and the outdoor breeze was delightful.

We have gone al fresco at home, too. Pat and I left our dining room table in Missouri and it was our plan to buy one after arriving. Let's be honest, we don't have kids and we like watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine while we eat, so we hadn't had a reason to go table shopping just yet.

But, we do hope to have guests from time to time, and I just can't bring myself to ask them to eat with us on the couch.

As we talked about buying a table, we thought, wouldn't it be nice to have outdoor dining, too? We couldn't afford two tables, so the decision was made to buy a patio set first. Only in California would you buy a patio table before a dining room table. We plan to eat outside as much as we can, and the social aspect of it is fun, too. What could be better than letting our guests share a cup of morning coffee, play a board game or eat dinner – all outside? We're so excited to make the most of our large porch and the temperate weather. No offense, Midwest, but it's nice to sit outside without contending with mosquitoes, poisonous spiders and 100% humidity.

The climate here also means lots of fresh produce. We can pick our own grapefruit, oranges, lemons and passion fruit at home. And the Orange farmers market has become our favorite Saturday morning tradition. Strawberries in November!

Outdoor activities are pretty different here, too, of course. One day a co-worker asked me what my weekend plans were. I told her that we hoped to go hiking, but I should check the weather first. She gave me the most quizzical look. Check the weather? But ... why? I forgot that you can pretty much count on good weather here, at least at this time of year. The chances of a storm or a cold front ruining our plans were slim.

We made our hiking debut at Crystal Cove. Due to a parking mishap, we had to walk about 3 miles round-trip to the actual trails, so we chose the shortest hike – about 3 miles through the mountainous backcountry of Laguna Beach. The first part was relatively flat, but around the halfway point, we found ourselves practically climbing straight up the side of a mountain. As we topped the crest at around 800 feet, we could see the blue Pacific waters glittering in the distance. I've never had a hiking experience like this before.

Afterward, we made our way to the Beachcomber Cafè, a very popular but quaint restaurant in Crystal Cove's historic district. The wait is almost always an hour or more, but the guests don't mind, because you can sit on the beach while you wait. We ordered a piña colada, kicked off our shoes and buried our tired feet in the sand. Then we stuffed ourselves with the most delicious lunch – me, a tuna salad melt with freshly caught tuna, and Pat, a Kobe beef cheeseburger with locally sourced bacon. Then we headed home and quite literally crashed into bed for a serious nap. Pat and I dubbed it The Best Day Since We Moved Here.

This weekend, Pat's brother Kelly returns to the United States after living in China for over a year, and his first stop is California! We're so excited to have our first house guest. More to come on our adventures with Kelly.

Title lyrics – Hopeless Wanderer, Mumford & Sons

If you're travelin'

Moving across the country. I can’t believe we did it! It seemed like such a monumental task, and in some ways it was. For the most part, it was a much better experience than we expected. We’ve had a month to reflect on it, so here are some lessons we learned, in case you ever find yourself in this situation.

1. Purge, purge, purge.

When you're paying by the foot in a moving truck, it's time to have a heart-to-heart with the things you think you can't live without. Plus, we had a three-bedroom house and needed to downsize for what we thought would be a small apartment in California. We had at least three rounds of getting rid of stuff. The first phase was the most difficult, for me at least, because I'm a sentimental person. I have a keen appreciation for items that are passed from family to family. The more we got rid of, though, the more I wanted to purge even more. Every couple of months, we would go through our stuff again. We had two garage sales (one of which was held three weekends in a row). We donated at least two car-fulls of stuff. And we gave meaningful items to meaningful people. Our mahogony dining table from Two Mom went to Pat's sister Alli and Mykl. Our nice grill, a housewarming gift from my parents, went to René, as thanks for letting us live with her. Our piano, also from Two Mom, went to our dear friends Craig and Shawn, who want their boys to learn to play. It is much easier to part with things when you're passing them on to people who will love them just as much.

2. But don't purge everything.

So, we didn’t end up in a tiny apartment after all. We ended up in a house. I don’t regret selling what we did, but there are a few items we now have to purchase that will end up costing us more than if we’d kept them. I’m very glad we kept our favorite pieces of furniture, because we have familiar pieces to warm up an unfamiliar home. And I’m glad we kept my car. We came very close to selling it before we left. It’s older, needs some TLC and we weren’t looking forward to the expense of driving two cars across the country and registering both in a new state (with stricter, more expensive emission standards that we don’t meet … ahem). We went back and forth on this quite a bit. I’m happy with our choice. We own the car free and clear, and we don’t have to worry about coordinating our schedules on one car, which is one less headache in a sea of life adjustments.

3. Find yourself some good boxes and a Super Mom.

I’m very lucky because I worked at a hospital, which gets huge shipments of computers all the time. Computers come in nice boxes. With handles. I was able to get tons of them. If you ever need moving boxes, I recommend calling some of the large companies in your area, like hospitals and schools, and ask if they have any boxes on their way to the recycle bin.

Once you’ve got boxes, make sure you have an awesome, amazing, helpful mom like mine. She visited us for almost two weeks and packed up the majority of our house. And I tell you, she is an Expert Packer^TM. As we opened boxes in our new house, I would literally gasp as I discovered items so perfectly snug and fit, every inch of space maximized. Each box was helpfully labeled (my favorite one: Dremel Tool, Crock Pot, Owl). Mom, I don’t know what we would have done without you.

4. Don’t hire movers. Do hire a trucking company.

We got many quotes from different companies and the prices ran the gamut. I was surprised that the bulk of what you pay is for people picking up heavy things for you. Silly me, I would have thought driving an enormous truck 1,500 miles through mountains would be the most costly part. If you cut movers out of the equation and simply buy space and transportation, it’s much more affordable. On an online forum, we read a recommendation for U-Pack. It’s essentially a semi container – very long and very tall – and you pay by the linear feet of space used. I reserved 13 feet. Pat took one look and said “We’ll do it in 9.” And darned if we didn’t use exactly 9 feet. (The Jacobs family is known far and wide for their ability to Tetris objects together.) U-Pack was only a little pricier than renting a U-Haul, and we didn't have to drive the truck ourselves, thank goodness. Leave that one to the professionals!

5. Save up, because you’re going to spend some dough. 

We did everything we could to minimize and cut corners, but moving is moving, and there is a bullet to bite. We knew this going in and began saving for it two years in advance. Some major costs we ran into:

• Selling our house (Realtor fees, repairs). Those of you with more equity in a home might actually make money on this one, but not us. And, you know, recession.
• Car repairs/maintenance, for safety and gas efficiency on the long trek. Just so you know, there is an unspoken law: If you plan to drive two cars across the country, both of them will suddenly need major, indisputable repairs.
• Travel (gas, hotels, meals). We also treated the trip as a mini vacation, with a couple touristy stops along the way. I still regret missing this, and Pat is determined to go back for this.
• Moving truck. Much cheaper than movers, but still a pretty penny.
• New housing (deposit and first month’s rent). This may be significantly less if you’re moving to a state that does not begin with CALIFORNIA.

Thank you to everyone who helped us get from Point A to Point B and everywhere in between.

Title lyrics – Girl from the North Country, Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash